I recently received an e-mail from man who just became “enlightened” (so to speak.) Right after he finished reading the Understanding Japanese Women eBook he sat down behind his computer to tell me this:
“My Japanese wife and I have been having problems recently. Your book is helping me realize that not all of the problems are made by me!”
Whether you have a Japanese wife or a Japanese girlfriend, there will come a time when problems will arise. And when they do, it is almost inevitable that you, the man, will get the blame.
While it is true in inter-racial relationships that the man does make a fair share of the mistakes, the feminine “other half” makes just as many (they just refuse to admit it.) During these times of relationship strife, it is important to face the problem not as the “accused” nor as the “accuser” but from the “diplomatic” position.
Honestly look at the problem and gather as much cultural information as possible. With a broader understanding of the culture behind the problem, you can then decide whether or not you really are at fault, your Japanese wife (or Japanese girlfriend) is at fault, or the culture differences are at fault.
Now here’s the main point: If the problem was caused by cultural differences then DON’T blame each other!
My marriage to my Japanese wife has survived so many storms because we were able to discover that the root of our problems were simple misunderstandings about each other’s culture. With that knowledge we could stop blaming each other and work out the differences.