If you’re thinking about finding a Japanese wife or are contemplating marrying your current Japanese girlfriend, then “buyer beware” — for there is a part of Japanese culture that Western men interested in a long-term relationship with a Japanese woman need to be aware of.
For most Western men, this probably won’t be a major problem between you and your “potential” Japanese wife. But let me tell you up front what might be in store for some of you…
The problem comes from changing jobs or changing careers.
In Japan, people get one job after graduating college and keep that job pretty much for the rest of their working life (although it is very slowly changing.) This almost guarantees a slow but steady increase in pay and benefits. For the Western man, changing jobs is almost as natural as breathing (research revealed that most Western men change jobs at least six times during their working years.)
As long as your new job pays the same as your old job, everything will be fine between you and your Japanese wife. But should you decide to “backtrack” a little (i.e. take a lower-paying job in a new field or go back to college) then there will be problems. Japanese wives are used to the constant increase in their husband’s salary. If this consistency is not maintained, she’ll get nasty, grumpy, and begin that nasty-nagging habit.
This is something that I’ve heard from many of the married Japanese women that I’ve talked to (not to mention my own Japanese wife.)
So, if you are looking for a Japanese wife or are contemplating making your Japanese girlfriend more permanent, then think carefully about how you intend to support her and be prepared to explain the Western way should your career take a detour.