But it is only the beginning to a much larger set of resources to help Western men with their interracial relationship challenges!

Interracial marriage is probably the most challenging type of relationship to be involved in. Not only do you have to deal with the normal challenges of marriage that arise from personality differences, but now differences in culture will threaten to tear great rifts between the you and the one you hold so dear. And so the only question is this: are you prepared?

Continuing where the Understanding Japanese Women e-book left off, Understanding Japanese Marriages will dive deep into the challenges of interracial married life and offer real solutions to smooth out the conflicts or to even prevent them from ever happening.

Here are just a few of the topics that will be covered:

• Adjusting to interracial married life.
• Solving confusing interracial conflicts.
• Bridging the gaps in communication.
• Dealing with your Japanese in-laws.
• Raising bilingual children.
• Living with mixed religions.
• Handling divorce and custody issues.
• And more!

This new e-book is scheduled for a 2010 fall release. But until then, I encourage you to pick up a copy of the Understanding Japanese Women e-book in preparation. In many cases, the UJW e-book by itself may just solve your marital problems now!

You input equals a better e-book

In order to make this new e-book as complete and as detailed as possible, I’m asking anyone who is interested in contributing for any comments, suggestions, or even questions about interracial marriages with Japanese women. So if you’d like to share any of the affore mentioned, then please feel free to send me an e-mail to the following address:

contact@japandatingtips.com

I look forward to hearing from you!

Sincerely,
David J. Radtke

Marriage with a Japanese woman certainly is an adventure… especially when she prefers not to talk. Unlike marriages in the West (where it is encouraged to keep the conversation flowing between both members as long as the marriage lasts) Japanese women yearn to have a marriage where unspoken understanding becomes the normal way to “communicate.”

Perfect “communication” in the mind of Japanese women (and probably most Japanese men as well) is when the other person knows exactly what you need before you even need to say anything. A Japanese wife wants her husband to know her so well that she doesn’t need to say anything — he just knows what she needs, when she needs it, and then provides it ASAP. The only time actual verbal communication is necessary is when it’s time to complain about the lack of unspoken understanding.

I’ve heard about this from my own wife. But, not believing her opinion as the norm, I decided not to write about this until I could get more proof. That proof came from a Chinese friend of mine who often hears the exasperated cries of the married Japanese women around her. “My husband just doesn’t know what I want or what I need” is the most often heard complaint.

Now, you need to understand that Chinese people, in general, love to talk. In fact, it seems that Chinese marriages are a little closer to Western marriages than Japanese marriages are. (Proving that all Asian cultures are not the same!)

In conclusion, Japanese people just prefer to have less and less conversation as the relationship progresses deeper and deeper. So, if you want to keep your Japanese girlfriend or Japanese wife happy and satisfied, then do your best to understand her needs and provide for her before she has to say so. (Easier said than done, but possible!)

Understanding Japanese culture DOES matter!
There, I got it off my chest.

You see, the e-mail I received talked about how your Japanese girlfriend should love you for who you are, which includes loving everything about your own culture. Now boys, yes it is true that she should love you for who you are… but just where does a large part of your personality come from? The answer: your culture. And following this line of thinking: where does a large part of your Japanese girlfriend’s personality come from? The answer: Japanese culture!

The more you understand Japanese culture the more you will understand your Japanese girlfriend!

Likewise, your Japanese girlfriend should try to learn more about your own culture so she can understand you better. (Give and take is a sweet thing.)

Also, if a Japanese woman should love you for who you are, does that mean you should NOT try to act in a more Japanese way to make her feel more comfortable around you?

Of course not!

Even if you were dating a woman from your own country you would try to do certain things (related to her personality) to make her feel comfortable around you. You wouldn’t completely change your personality for her, but you would try to slightly adjust your actions in a way that brings the two of you closer together. (Be honest, guys. We DO adjust ourselves to a certain degree to win the heart of that beautiful woman.)

Understanding Japanese culture IS important for a strong and loving relationship. Sometimes acting a little more Japanese to help your Japanese girlfriend feel comfortable IS important (because mature relationships are about give and take.) And if you think that you don’t need to do a damn thing in a relationship to make it work then be prepared for hard times ahead.

End of rant.

For most Western men, this probably won’t be a major problem between you and your “potential” Japanese wife. But let me tell you up front what might be in store for some of you…

The problem comes from changing jobs or changing careers.

In Japan, people get one job after graduating college and keep that job pretty much for the rest of their working life (although it is very slowly changing.) This almost guarantees a slow but steady increase in pay and benefits. For the Western man, changing jobs is almost as natural as breathing (research revealed that most Western men change jobs at least six times during their working years.)

As long as your new job pays the same as your old job, everything will be fine between you and your Japanese wife. But should you decide to “backtrack” a little (i.e. take a lower-paying job in a new field or go back to college) then there will be problems. Japanese wives are used to the constant increase in their husband’s salary. If this consistency is not maintained, she’ll get nasty, grumpy, and begin that nasty-nagging habit.

This is something that I’ve heard from many of the married Japanese women that I’ve talked to (not to mention my own Japanese wife.)

So, if you are looking for a Japanese wife or are contemplating making your Japanese girlfriend more permanent, then think carefully about how you intend to support her and be prepared to explain the Western way should your career take a detour.